Dear Amy: My mid-30s daughter lived with a partner for 10 years. He is a horrid and manipulative man.

I accepted that as an adult she could make her own life choices, however misguided I may think they are.

As a “couple,” she and her partner attended holiday gatherings at my home.

About a year ago, I heard from my other daughters that she had become engaged to this man, although she never mentioned this to me.

Not long ago, my daughter was in a roadway accident, and she died suddenly and tragically.

Although she is gone, her former partner continues to consider himself a family member, and this is a sentiment that is shared by my late daughter’s two sisters.

I have no such feelings about him, and wish never to see him again.

Thanksgiving is coming soon, and he expects that he will share a place at our table.

I really do not want this man at the table, although I respect my other daughters’ wish to have him be a part of their lives.

How would you recommend that I communicate my sentiments to him and to my daughters?

– Grieving Dad

Dear Grieving: I’m so sorry your family is going through this. I assume that Thanksgiving will be a tough and possibly sorrowful day.

If you don’t want to share air with this horrid and manipulative man, you shouldn’t. It’s entirely your choice.

You should simply tell your daughters that they can associate with anyone they want to, but “I won’t spend any time with this guy – not at my home or elsewhere. It’s that simple.”

You already know that this man is manipulative, and so you should be prepared for some manipulation. He might use your daughters to try to persuade you to welcome him for the first Thanksgiving after your daughter’s death. And the answer from you will be, “Absolutely not.”

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.